The Bridge #67
going deeper
Hello
It is now possible to support this ongoing project known as The Bridge through a “paid subscription.” The idea is to invite those of you who really enjoy reading this regularly to support financially, if it’s within your means.
Your support will encourage me to publish more often, to share more widely what we are discussing here, and to pay closer attention to what you want most.
Whether you support financially or no, the most valuable support you can offer is the ongoing conversation. Thanks for reading!
As a sidenote, all proceeds from those who become paid subscribers will be donated to non-profit organizations doing work to support young people with mental health. More on that later.
Also, I’m offering a 20% discount to all those who decide this month to become annual subscribers. Your support means so much to me! The discounted price is one way to show my gratitude. Thanks again.
Something to Consider
Therapists, and others focusing energy on supporting mental / emotional health, offer an incredible value to society. We need more therapists. There is no shame in seeking help from one.
& at the same time, I wonder if anyone else is thinking: Wouldn’t it be cool if everyone was a trained therapist?
Like, not that we all need to make it our profession and be paid or do it several times a day 5 days a week. But that it feels as though we’d all feel healthier and happier if there was attention given regularly to developing these skills:
Listen closely and carefully with an open mind
Understand intuitively or with kindly-worded questions the nature of others’ challenges
Give space for others to share about their mental or emotional difficulties and remain grounded enough to listen while wise enough to know when or when not to offer solutions
Do you take time to practice these skills? How often do you practice?
Myself, I have found that being a career coach is very similar to being a therapist, and to be successful being either one — I have to know very well how to set boundaries. I also cannot succeed long-term in supporting others if I’m not regularly sharing myself how I’m doing. I have found it deepens my practice when I dare to share something that feels vulnerable with at least one new person every week. Have you ever tried that? It’s an interesting experiment.
Something to Explore
This could be why you’re depressed or anxious (TED talk by Johann Hari)
TL;DR If you are feeling deeply sad, depressed or anxious — it might be because you’re a human being with unmet needs. Speak to those who can help.
For the full talk, which is really quite thought-provoking (as TED talks are meant to be), watch the video.
For an excerpt, I’ll mention here that he tells a story:
As part of research for a book he was writing, because he has battled with depression many years himself and wanted to share findings with other people, Johann Hari interviewed a renowned psychologist named Dr Derek Summerfield. He learned that when chemical anti-depressants were introduced to Cambodia some time ago, the doctors there told Summerfield that they already had anti-depressants.
Summerfield assumed these doctors were referring to some kind of herbal remedy that didn’t necessarily do any harm, but certainly wasn’t peer-reviewed.
He asked what they meant, and their explanation wasn’t at all what Summerfield was expecting.
They told of a rice farmer who one day stepped on a land mine (left over from the war years earlier), and the man instantly lost his left leg. Rushed to the hospital, the farmer recovered physically and was given an artificial leg. Then, he went back to work.
But work wasn’t the same anymore. For reasons that may or may not be so obvious.
The farmer fell into a deep depression. He saw a doctor. The community around him learned the story and came up with a fairly simple solution.
They bought him a cow so he could become a dairy farmer. The water-logged rice paddies had been making his artificial leg hurt more and more, and going back to the fields where he had lost his leg had been traumatic. Raising a cow allowed him to provide for his needs and relieve his pain. The local community coming together to help the farmer with a problem in his situation, that was the anti-depressant.
Something to Enjoy
“Bol Hu” by Soch the Band ft. Hadiya Hashmi
One of the career changers I coached recently shared with me a song she thought I would like. It was a song from the NESCAFE Basement, which is a platform for promoting South Asian musicians. A band was covering the song “Sweet Child O’ Mine”, and it was really interesting to see someone Pakistani sing that song with full emotion and evident talent.
I explored more the NESCAFE Basement series, and discovered this song “Bol Hu” which is in a language I do not understand, and yet I feel the emotion. At minute 3:30 when a young girl begins to sing… WOW, it’s quite moving. I’m not someone who follows The Voice or America’s Got Talent, but I do find that celebrity is not what makes talent. Music is healing, wherever it’s found.
Something Friendly
Also, thanks for trusting me, as I deepen the practice of writing this newsletter. It takes time to think through, talk through, and keep track of the topics I want to share with you. Finding the words is rarely easy. Your support helps me feel safe to continue.
Why is there an ache, an illness in your heart? /
Think on what you are, why you are /
Speak /
Take care,
JPC 😎