The Bridge #88
in which we meditate on love, because it's what makes life meaningful (I think) (right? maybe??)
Hello
& Welcome to The Bridge!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (because they don’t really teach this in schools, as far as I’m aware, and it’s also not something I ever heard a boss at work say) —
We have bodies. & when we feel deep emotions, we can talk it out with people (if they’ll listen). We can also work it out (if we listen to our bodies).
The other night, I was feeling deep anger (not a bad emotion in and of itself, neither is sadness. As Mr Rogers helpfully asks: “What do you do with the mad that you feel, when you feel so mad you could bite?”) and I was feeling it all up and down my spine.
Big ups to my partner who agreed to put the kids to bed, and I took my bike and went to the local rock gym. I climbed a few easy routes to warm myself up, challenged myself to some “intermediate difficulty” routes to really get the muscles going. Then I ran into a mec (he was French) who challenged me to a chess match. The dude won, and I felt great afterward. My mind activated, my muscles activated. I cooled down with a few more climbs, and called it a night. The killer pain in my neck? Gone, along with the anger.
It’s OK to feel it out.
Something Fun
Khruangbin [pronounced KRUNG-bin and is Thai for “flying engine”] are an American trio based in Texas.
They have great outfits, by the way. I know it doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of their sound, but seriously - love their outfits. Fashion statement!
Anyways, this song is a short film in its own right, and the musicians are not in it, but there are a lot of chill / stylish-in-their-own-right people featured in the short film living life. You might not notice how groovy the song is, following the storyline (if you watch), but play the song again then. Let the tune sink in.
Love is without borders.
Something Interesting
Quelle place pour l’intime? (audio conversation between Laetitia Vitaud, Céline Alix, and host Sandra Fillaudeau)
The podcast episode is en francais but is between three women who have each a rather close connection to the US, so I feel legitimate sharing here because they cite three American references. It’s a definite cross-cultural conversation. Also they are using a word that can’t easily be translated into English because it lacks the same resonance. So I’m going to try to explain.
They are talking about “intimacy” or “things that are intimate” but the word l’intime can also mean “our private thoughts” or “our domestic life” or “our private parts” or “the things we’d talk about when having a good conversation, breaking taboos and sharing honestly about ourselves with another.”
They argue (though really it’s a rather open-ended conversation) that to talk about l’intime is by nature a political act. When we don’t talk about it enough, we permit injustices to persist (like unfair healthcare systems, unfair distribution of care work, and unfair perceptions of how ‘the other’ lives).
& yet, to talk about it raises plenty of thorny questions as well, like the ethics of publishing “intimate things” about other people in a memoir (for example) or the importance of normalizing human experience by talking about our private lives but also the risks that we take by doing so in a deeply personal way. What should we do?
It’s a question that each will answer in their own way, and I am grateful for the public conversation between these three, who are each living lives with great integrity and sharing openly with others in order to inspire better conversation.
Something Serious
Aziza (which means “powerful”) was a woman on a mission.
To help others avoid military service, she’d wed them. Their related religious conversion allowed for “conscientious objection.”
The more love, the more peace — was what people often heard her say. (Also: If Valentine had done it, so could she.) Many people respected her for how she lived and what she said.
There were those, however, who felt threatened by her Muslim faith. They said, if you think you’re as great as the Christian saint Valentine, then let’s see you heal a blind jailor’s daughter.
Show me a blind jailor, and I will heal his daughter, she replied. A little off-put, they quickly recovered and found a blind jailor with a sick daughter. Aziza listened to the daughter, spoke to her father, spoke to her doctors, showered the daughter with love and honored the father’s hard work, encouraged her to keep taking her medicine, and she was healed.
They sentenced Aziza to life imprisonment anyway, whispering to one another, She is too powerful.
Others believed her story ought to be told, and eventually she was freed, though her spirit was broken. It’s not about religion, her supporters shouted, it’s about love and justice! We will tell and re-tell her story.
& that is why even up until today, we carry on the tradition of investing in social justice causes every February 14th.
Something to Practice
Why not make up your own holiday traditions this year?
Special occasions ought to be commemorated, and it rings more true when we have a deeply personal connection. Even if the personal connection is partially invented.
What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong…
And nothing you do seems very right?
What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?
It’s great to be able to stop
When you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong,
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:
I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish
I can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
& know that the feeling is mine,
JPC ❤️