The Bridge #89
in which we celebrate our families, chosen and biological, all so different and yet with so much that is the same, forever together
Hello
& Welcome !
This is, as you probably know, The Bridge. Since I started writing The Bridge, the quality of my life has improved dramatically. Not because it’s been easy, though I do find the motivation comes easy knowing you’re reading. I write The Bridge in order to help us to connect, to find and keep our balance, to see things in a new way creating more possibilities. I’m also a coach for the same reasons. & both activities help hold me accountable, help me keep moving when I would otherwise stay stuck.
Growing up I would often way over-think things before getting started. & I was drawn to those who are impulsive, even if they sometimes did things that in hindsight were a little foolish. Over time, and with practice, I am finding my balance daring to do at a moment when I have given an idea enough thought.
& so, as part of that journey, I have created a survey — to hear from you what’s working and what’s not, and to discover (from those of you who respond) in what ways I can help move us even more to keep growing and stay light:
Something to Get Us Thinking
There once was (way back in the day) a washerwoman who would carry two buckets down to the river at the bottom of a hill, and she would go to the river to fetch water in order to do her washing. One of the buckets developed a crack, unfortunately, and she tried to glue the bucket back together but it still leaked, whenever she’d walk back up the hill.
She only had the two buckets and some water was better than no water, so she would go down the hill, fetch the water from the river with both buckets, and then walk back up the hill and the leaky bucket would create a little stream on one side of the path as she walked.
After many years, the leaky bucket had had enough, and one day before being filled up at the river she (the bucket) said to her master (the washerwoman), “Why are you still using me? Throw me away! I’m broken.”
The washerwoman said, “Look up the hill. See what has happened.” And it’s true: the bucket had not noticed. The washerwoman had been scattering seeds on one side of the path, and over the years the water leaking out of the cracked bucket had caused the seeds to grow. There were flowers all the way up and down the hill on one side of the path. It was beautiful.
All of us, and our families, we’re broken, and it’s OK.
Were we to open our eyes, we would also see the beauty!
Something to Enjoy
Tobe Nwigwe grew up in southwest Houston as a first-generation Nigerian-American, and he was really good at football. Then his life took a different direction, and rightly so! he is ever so talented with words.
& look — I come at this the same way I come at all the music I share with you, I come at the music with curiosity and I share with you my thoughts as an amateur listener. I’m still learning.
But see, when so many rappers are making money making beats with a message that lacks heart, we wonder where this is taking us. I wanna say that as listeners we are at liberty to choose what we listen to, and I choose to listen to music that runs deep.
Thank you Tobe Nwigwe for keeping true to your roots, true to your family, for speaking truth, for showing us another way to make your way as an artist. Grateful.
Something to Spark Conversation
Bayo Akomolafe (his website, where you can find some of his writing)
A dear friend in Brooklyn helped clue me in to the Nigerian-born Tobe Nwigwe and a friend and fellow traveller was kind enough to share with me the magic that is Bayo Akomolafe — writer, thinker, teacher, peace-weaver, wounded-healer, future-maker.
Learning Bayo’s story and glimpsing a little of how he lives, I am inspired.
From the about page of his website, for all the fellow travelers out there, a clue towards another way to live:
Bayo Akomolafe is a recipient of the 2021 New Thought Walden Award, meant to honor those who use empowering spiritual ideas and philosophies to change lives and make our planet a better place.
Bayo has given up his longing for the “end-time” and is learning to live in the “meantime”...in the middle, where we must live with confusion and make do with partial answers. His greatest vocation is however learning to be a satellite orbiting his greatest gift, his goddess Ijeoma [his life-partner], and knowing the blessings of her gravity - as well as co-researching into magic and the utter unspeakability of the world in its ongoingness along with his children. He speaks and teaches about his experiences around the world, and then returns to his adopted home in Chennai, India – “where the occasional whiff of cow dung dancing in the air is another invitation to explore the vitality of a world that is never still and always surprising.”
Something to Practice
Is there someone in your life you want to re-connect with or connect closer to?
Maybe sharing The Bridge helps open conversation. Maybe even you could say, “There was something I was reading the other day that had me thinking, and I was a little afraid to share it with you because we haven’t talked in a while [or, because I’m not sure it would be your thing] but the person who writes the newsletter has this way about him, and I think you might want to check it out.”
Then see what happens next :)
Hope y’all get fruit /
From every verse I’m planting /
No peace offerings for feral youth /
Where I’m from [SW Houston] if you speak softly /
Then they bury you /
…
I used to watch Willy Wonka /
And hope he would sponsor /
A golden token loan for every broken home /
…
I pray my whole ‘hood /
Find its way to light /
Cuz we all need it
We all need it, no matter where we’re from. Be sure to get active out there. For the human family. Stay light,
JPC ❤️