The Bridge #94
in which we open up about the false narratives that run in our heads (individualism, short-termism, rationalism, monoculturalism)
Hello
& Welcome ! The Bridge is a newsletter connecting the professional and the personal creatively across cultures and a diversity of topics, until we are not only full of ideas but also ready to take action. Thanks for joining in the conversation.
Also, I am a coach for those seeking a healthier balance in their lives between emotional and financial flow. If you’ve been professionally successful, but find yourself a bit lost or stuck when it comes to deeper fulfillment, it’s probably … not all your fault 😊 The system around us is designed to distract and confuse, and it’s a mistake to think we can succeed on our own. I invite you to a free call with me if you believe talking it out could help clarify things.
Something to Get Us Thinking
Life Update:
We have plants we care for on our balcony, in our living room, and in our shared community garden. Unsurprisingly, none were flowering during the winter months. And now, it’s springtime and things are changing fast!
That said, our azalea bush, it wasn’t only a seasonal thing. We tried moving it one year, and ended up giving it too much sun. Then it was in the wrong type of soil (not acidic enough). And then we moved it back into a location with ideal sunlight and soil, but it took over a year for the azalea to recover. So only now, this spring, after four years, is it blooming with joy!
Some things take time, like a lot longer than we are used to waiting (when we can have so much at the click of a button). Some stuff takes time. We have to wait, and yet — if we stick with it, and are OK hearing it more than once and are ready to keep trying, well then (!) we might also discover that… 4 years isn’t all that long of a time!
What if we had given up and abandoned the azalea? Did you know azaleas can live for over 4 decades?! It’s got me wondering differently about what we mean when we say “long-term.”
Would love to hear what lessons you’re learning from caring for your garden. Message me and share.
Something to Spark Conversation
Tolerating Unknowns Will Make You Stronger (the Ask Polly newsletter)
Ever had a ‘crisis’ moment where you experienced deep feelings, and the discomfort ‘inspired’ you to disconnect? Let’s just do it. It’s like we feel the heat, and we run for our lives. The cost of that is we begin to lose tolerance, we forget that we can stay. Though we can sit with our emotions and allow them to pass through, too quickly we begin to feel panic, even when the reality is non-threatening. It’s intense, but it’s not going to burn us.
Strong feelings are not a sign that we are in trouble. Strong feelings are a signal that we care.
This essay by Heather Havrilesky (Tolerating Unknowns Will Make You Stronger) as an act of reading helps one to sit with the scary unknowns of what happens when we say out loud how we are feeling, even at the most basic level, and articulate to ourselves (with or without a therapist) what are the stories in our heads about those emotions, and the essay reminds us to notice how much we care. We care, and all of it matters.
We need space to hear that. We need space to let that be.
We will grow stronger for allowing it all just to be.
Something to Enjoy
Thérèse is a relative new-comer to the French music scene. She sings in many different languages, including English, so I thought it would be fun to share this song above. Also because in the music video, they are standing in front of a renowned Asian food market that has been in Paris for decades but which I visited for the first time with my two daughters only a few months ago… Tang Freres. Pretty sure the parking garage (in the music video) is the same one that’s underneath the famous food market… only it’s usually full of cars (when it’s not being used for a slick music video).
As you will be able to tell, if you watch the video, Thérèse cares a lot about fashion. She’s also quite provocative, which is important in a world where ethnic minorities are treated too often with disrespect. She is often singing and rapping about mental health and social causes. She does so in a way though that plays with our expectations.
She’s not being polite. She’s acting free. Not maybe what we’d expect of a woman of Asian origin living in western society, but honestly — there are no rules!
Something to Practice
Had a chance to look at your monthly budget recently? (see edition #93)
How about your relationships? Have you ever made a list of all your important relationships (family, friends, meaningful acquaintances)? Do you make time to catch up with these important people and cultivate the connection?
Remember: there are no rules… 😉
I’d never get down on my knees but
I have to confess
AsianAfricanMericanAlien, real freedom is complex
I’m not scared of belonging to nowhere
Truly I don’t care, my home is everywhere
I’m not scared of belonging to nowhere
Truly I don’t care, my home is everywhere
Where do you belong?
JPC 😎